Things are actually a little blurry right now because I am so tired.
I found out today that Libby, the sweet little old lady who works at the paper, has had a really tragic life. Her daughter and son-in-law were killed in a car wreck a day and a half after they got married (20 years ago, or so). Her husband died. Then her best friend’s husband died. Then her best friend died. Some other relatives died and her son died in December. She had three children but she only has one living son now. Also, at some point, she had cancer but beat it.
On an unrelated note, but not necessarily a happier one, I think my office should invest in carpeting. One of my co-workers likes to wear heels, and she is constantly walking by my cubicle or around the office. I don’t know what she’s doing that requires her to walk around so much, but the loud sound of her heels clack-clack-clack-clack-CLACK-CLACK-CLACKING incessantly on the slab they call a floor is akin to the sensation of a pair of rusty scissors being stabbed inch by excruciating inch into my brain, as well as in, on or around my ears.
Now let’s talk about Oreos. I shouldn’t be a fan of Oreos anymore, considering the 5.2 billion Oreos I consoled myself with in China when I was having a "China day," but I do still find myself almost unwillingly buying Oreo-flavored products. You see, it’s not enough to just make Oreos and be done with it. Oh no. There’s Oreo cereal and Oreo granola bars. Oreo ice cream. Oreo candy bites. Oreo Klondike bars. And the Oreo 100 calorie pack, which brings me to my point. I was eating a chocolate animal cracker 100 calorie pack today, and I thought, "These taste strangely familiar." Then I realized that Oreo 100 calorie packs were just chocolate animal crackers with some flavorless white dust on them. I mean, Nabisco owns that whole 100 calorie pack biznazz. They really did not overexert themselves in concocting the recipe for the Oreo 100 calorie pack.
Tonight I had History of Magic. I found out my professor is a Harvard man, which I wish I didn’t know, because now he seems intimidating, whereas before he just seemed eccentric. We were talking about religion and the Roman Catholic church, and he more or less asked if anyone in the room was Catholic. No one was, so he proceeded to liken Catholicism to magic. So in a way I was prescient in calling the class History of Magic, because if Roman Catholicism = Magic (in Binns’ eyes, anyway), then we’re going to be talking about magic a lot.
I think it’s technically illegal to ask our respective faiths, but we can offer up the information if we feel like it. He’s already declared George W. Bush to be the worst president in U.S. history and poked fun at Christianity. He also said W wrapped himself in the Bible. It won’t be long before he figures me out. Not that I think W is the best president in history or that Christians don’t have flaws (Christianity is flawless but those who practice it are not), but it’s quite clear that conservatives and those of faith are on the same level as astrologists, in his eyes.
You know what I miss? Chinese Cheetos. They’re just so much better than American Cheetos. Yeah, I know, hard to believe. But it’s true.

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