I’m not just a member. I’m also the president. And the only member.
I’ve found that the awkwardness induced by any given working environment requires me to slip away to the bathroom stall, where I can make peculiar faces in secret. Situations at work require me to be a little more conservative with my responses than I would like to be. For instance, when I make a mistake, I simply say "Oh no," or "Oops." Meanwhile I am in an inner tumult over the embarrassment I have just caused myself. I am thinking, "I am such an idiot! They must think I am a total moron. I should go crawl into a cabinet somewhere and die. First I should drink Pine-Sol and then die slowly, with the taste of a freaking forest cauterizing my tastebuds." Perhaps I am a tad too harsh with myself. Nonetheless, my outward appearance does not match my attitude. All of this unused energy and wasted sarcasm must go somewhere. So I wait until I’m alone, and then I make strange faces to express how I was feeling five minutes ago. I don’t usually go into strange noises mode in the bathroom stall because that might send an incorrect impression. But as soon as I’m alone in my car, the strange noises are given free rein. Usually it’s something like, "EEEoooooughghghmmmm."
So what do you do when something uncomfortable happens and you must physically react in a non-obvious way? No seriously, I’m asking. I’m curious about the actions of normal people.
Here’s a picture my friend Lauren sent to me after my Edward Newsprinthands entry. I wanted to share: