baby/gun swap, or the right to bear children

Tired. Hungry. Sitting at desk with nothing to do. Stomach slowly consuming other innards. Must stay awake. Must uncross eyes.
I think I just drooled on myself. I’m not kidding.
I probably should not have stayed up until 1 a.m. last night, having post-Oscar chat with Lauren.
My feet are cold. I should have worn real socks. Instead I’m wearing "knee-highs." They’re like pantyhose, but they only go to your knee. You can also just buy pantyhose for your stomach and hind-quarters, or stomach, toosh and thighs. I’ve been thinking about this, and I believe if you wore knee-highs with a stomach, butt & thigh shaper, leggings, arm warmers and a dickie, you could have a full bodysuit of lycra made up of different component parts.
Or you could just wear real clothes that fit you.
It scares me a little bit that the classified ads for parents looking for babies to adopt are right below the ads for gun shows. What kind of people are we targeting here? You can sell your kid and buy a shotgun with the proceeds.

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