the bag that turned out to be a cat

I went to Texas over the weekend to see my long-lost friend Danielle. I can say pretty much whatever I want to about her here because she doesn’t read my blog. She doesn’t read. She’s illiterate. That’s the only excuse I can think of for not reading my blog.
I had to drive through Oklahoma. I shudder just thinking of Oklahoma. I had to drive along the two-and-a-half hour Indian Turnpike. You can’t get off the Indian Turnpike once you get on it. They’ll scalp you. You’re stuck there until the vultures notice you. I saw many signs that said "Do not drive into smoke." I also saw a sign that said "No exits until you turn 47." And even though it totally plays into some stereotype, I saw many, many eagles. I think they’re breeding them out there on the "rez," but who I mean by "they" is anyone’s guess, as I did not see any people nor any signs of civilization. So I entertained myself as I started to travel down the long, twisty path to insanity by singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of my lungs at least five times, pointing at other drivers (if they really were other drivers or just the Great Eagle Spirit) and screaming that we were all going to die out here. I also wore out the song "Oklahoma!"
I was not at all surprised when the Turnpike finally ended, Texas began and the lyric "Congratulations, ’cause we’ve made it…all the way home," by Eisley came on my iPod. Later, when returning to Missouri and traveling the dreaded Turnpike again, I was not at all surprised to hear "This is where your sanity gives in…" by The Cardigans. Did I mention my iPod was on shuffle? Somehow that cute little Apple product knew how I was feeling.
Danielle and I very proudly cooked Chinese food and watched the opening ceremony of the Olympics. We were both a little nervous about how our efforts at Chinese cuisine would turn out, but we were pleasantly shocked two hours later when the dishes tasted amazingly similar to what we ate in China. We made dumplings, Kung Pao chicken, friend rice, pulled pork and bamboo shoots and delicious jasmine tea. We had a great time.
We cheered Michael Phelps to his first 2008 Olympic victory. Me and Danielle’s mom cheered for the men’s beach volleyball team while Danielle turned traitor for a bit and cheered for Latvia, all because one of the players had curly hair. She is such a sucker. And a turncoat!
If you’re wondering about the title of this entry, it is a very long story that has to do with a bag that turned out to be a cat. I’m not going to tell the whole story, because I don’t think it would translate. Suffice it to say it was one of those things that isn’t really funny, but was somehow terribly funny, and I laughed until my guts ached.
Then Danielle made me tell the story later, but I couldn’t even get through the first line without laughing.
It was a good weekend.

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