"I dreamt that I logged on to Facebook and your status said Sarah West is engaged. And your profile picture was a picture of you flashing a big ole rock. So I immediately tried calling you but you wouldn’t answer. I was furious that you got engaged and I had to find out on facebook. It woke me up at about 3 am and I was upset! So I went back to sleep and started dreaming that you were engaged to Roy from The Office. Except you’d only been dating for about a week. So then I tried to talk you into waiting to get married and that didn’t go well. I woke up again so when I finally calmed down I started dreaming I was a nanny for the Beckhams. So, thanks to you and Posh, I have dark circles under my eyes today."
Boonville. The experience brings you back.
That’s what a billboard on I-70 said as we went to Boonville over the weekend. I thought, "Yes, the experience brings me back. But so does I-70."
Lane’s guitar still hasn’t arrived, so he got some Batman toys for his birthday, which he declared to be his favorites several times. Man, I’m a cool aunt. He also got a number of Nerf guns. After the opening of the first one, Gerry promptly shot me in the face with it.
Speaking of Gerry, I had a dream last night that I was in Boonville getting ready to go to my job at the Days Inn, but there was a flood and some looting, and some guy was giving me trouble and I was all, "I’m going to call my brother on you!" Except that awful thing happened that always happens to me in dreams – I couldn’t use the phone. Either my fingers are too big and clumsy and I press too many buttons, or I forget the number. It’s very frustrating. I don’t know that I’ve ever successfully made a phone call in a dream.
And then there was Lauren’s dream last night:
You should know that if you write anything to me, or say or do anything in my presence, you have agreed to allow me to use your life on my blog. It’s like, contractual.
I’m taking your picture for the newspaper and you’re supposed to be smiling, of course, we both know that, so instead of commanding you to smile or referring to dairy products, I count down, or up, depending on my mood, but you’re not really smiling, so I keep taking pictures and stop counting, hoping you’ll figure out the whole smiling thing, but you keep not smiling, and it occurs to me that you must think the grimace you’re wearing is a smile, so I finally just say to myself ‘Screw it.’
My mom saw a new doctor today, and although she really liked him and he seems like a good doctor, he gave her some upsetting news and she’s going back in two weeks for a rather frightening procedure. So please Think about her, and I’m using that word in my old China way.