are you an aunt…or…?

It is a beautiful, God-breathed day here at the West residence in Boonville, Mo. I’m drinking coffee with a French vanilla creamer that Gerry and Cynda probably bought especially for me, as it still had the foil seal this morning when I took it out of the fridge, and they know how much I love French vanilla creamer in my coffee.
The windows are open and the rain falls, making the lush grass even greener. The thunder makes me want to take a nap, but alas, I’ve had all this coffee.
I took Lane and Emma to school this morning, and as things with Lane and Emma usually are, it was hilarious. Emma pounced on me at 6 a.m., just as I was dreaming that my mom was telling me, "You’re just plain ig-nert [ignorant]," just like Michael Jackson would say it. Shocked out of sleep and thinking it was the dog jumping on me, I flailed my arms and heard Emma giggle. I opened my eyes and she crawled into bed with me.
Emma fidgeted while I tried to get back to sleep, knowing it was a lost cause. We finally got up, and she got dressed while I showered. I came out and she was wearing shorts and white socks pulled up to her knees.
"Emma, those are some dorky-looking white socks," I told her.
She giggled. She does that. She told me she would roll down the socks so it wouldn’t look so dorky. She brushed her hair and pretended to brush her teeth. When I requested a breath-check, she just gave me that Gerry grin and went back to the sink to brush for real. She was ready to go, minus the shoes, so I let her play her DS. I went in to wake Lane the same way my mom woke me for many years.
I turned on the light and said, "Rise and shine little rosebud!"
The little lump did not so much as flutter an eyelash. So I sat down next to him and pried his eyelids open. He got ready while I finished getting ready and I let him watch TV with Emma.
Little did I know that the reason Cynda doesn’t let them watch TV until they are completely ready – including shoes – is because putting on the shoes is for some reason the most difficult part of the morning. Lane and I had to join forces to convince Emma that Crocs and dorky-looking white socks were not a good idea on this rainy day. Lane couldn’t find any socks, he claimed, and when I checked his dresser, sure enough – no socks. I found some in his suitcase finally, and we were ready to go.
Unfortunately, my car was parked down the street about 4.2 miles away. I told the kids to stand in the driveway under the umbrella while I pulled the car up. Neighbor Chad saw me and said, "What’s the hurry? It’s not like it’s wet or anything." I told him I was just going to leave the kids in the driveway. Fortunately, he laughed because he has a sense of humor and did not take me seriously.
As luck would have it, everyone and their second cousin’s dog was out taking kids to school this morning. Traffic was an expletive. I was calling people morons and laughing at the occasional head-to-toe yellow raingear-clad idiot.
At one intersection, Lane said, "Get out of the way, traffic. You’re driving Aunt Sarah CRAZY!"
I finally got them to school and walked Emma into class because I had some treats Cynda had made for Teacher Appreciation Week. Emma’s teacher looked at me and said, "Are you an aunt…or…?"
Yes, yes I am. You’ll know it for sure when you hear Emma refer to someone’s socks as dorky-looking or hear Lane call someone dressed in yellow an idiot.

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