I’m not sure why I bother taking off my shoes, ever. Moving my toes
too much at all seems to be an open invitation to crazy toe cramps
that cause one toe to point in ABSOLUTELY the wrong direction. It
makes me queasy and fills me with the desire to vomit. I spend a
hilarious 30 seconds attempting to wrench said toe back into place
while seeing black spots and banging my free fist on the desktop.
I mean, I’m sitting here minding my own business, earbuds stuffed in
my ears to drown out the screaming server, writing a heartfelt story
and wham. It’s like I went swimming in a waterfall while wearing flip-
flops all over again.