People always ask me, “Sarah, how do you make your house so inviting? And how do you make it a treat for the senses from the moment you set foot in the door?”
Deer heads, I say. On every wall.
You don’t have to get them professionally mounted by someone who was recently served a warrant for not having a license to disembowel your trophies with atavistic pleasure. You can chop their heads off yourself and affix them to your walls with a nail gun.
“Wow, I’ve never realized that striking aroma of blood and fur came from the deer carcasses and not a candle from the Rich & Tacky Candle Co.,” is usually the reply I get to this, followed by this question: “How do you get the deer?”
If you are picturing me in the woods with a muzzle loader, forget it! I would never sully my cashmere knee guards in such a predictable way.
I usually head to the drive-through animal reserve once or twice a year and take out one with my car.
Where’s the sport in that, you say? Getting away from security with your contraband should officially be named the World’s Greatest Sport.
Check back soon for the recipe for my favorite Saturday afternoon beverage while doing the laundry – Mtn. Dew. Sneak peek: The secret ingredient is the meth!