Hey y’all. I’m losing my mind.
My right eye is twitching and my leg is twitching and my chest hurts. I’m going to need to take a sabbatical.

When an old person cuts herselfpatty does she bleed dustpatty?

I would say I never want to see a hospital again, but if this turns out to be a stroke, I’m going to want a hospital, specifically the emergency room part.

Do old peoplepatty have crickets in their pattyjoints?

I’m pretty sure the nurse just encouraged us to steal the stethoscope. I’m definitely going to listen to my stomach when she leaves the room.

Eye still twitching.

Mom to the nurse: Those exfoliating facial wipes someone brought me leave this cheesy stuff like what’s on a newborn baby’s skin.

Ew.

I just hope the red-headed imp of Satan isn’t on duty tonight. Something about her makes me think she could be a psychopath. You know, that vibe you get when someone is a Demon of Death. She’s a nurse. She lisps too. Nothing against lisping people, unless they are also flame-coiffed bringers of disease.

Gotta go.

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